Mother’s Day

I remember the day I got married my mom gave me a huge hug and kiss and said, “Congratulations!  You will soon begin two of the hardest, but most rewarding jobs you will ever have…being married and being a parent.”   She explained that both jobs take effort and are hard work, but the payoff is big and very rewarding.  Although I know for sure her words on my wedding day were not focused on dealing with a child in the future with cancer or the stress it can place on a family, it is amazing how true these “words of wisdom” really were….especially the part about the “payoff being big and very rewarding.”

Mother’s Day had a extra special ring to it this year.  For the past eleven months, I  have cared for a seven year old child, now eight, battling brain cancer.  I have heard news from doctors that no parent should ever have to hear about their child.  I have watched as my child has been poked countless times with needles for blood draws and medication.  I have kissed and caressed the head of a child before surgeries and procedures.  I have rubbed the back of a child who has vomited more times this year from radiation and chemotherapy than some have vomited in a lifetime.  I have held the hand and laid in bed or on the floor with a child who needed comfort and love.  I have whispered in the ear and dried the tears of a small boy who needed words of encouragement when he was feeling down and discouraged.  I have also tried my best to keep things as normal as possible for our older son, Jack.  He too, I’m sure, has fears, needs love and attention, and is shuffled around so much during these surgeries, radiation treatments, chemo, hospital stays and doctor appointments.  Yes, my mom was right, parenthood can be tough.

But do you see the way he looks at me when I give him those words of encouragement?  Do you see how peaceful he looks when he is finally sleeping and comfortable?  Do you see my heart melt when he tells me, “thank you for taking care of me?”  Do you see the tears of joy in my eyes when Jack leaves little notes around the house telling me how much he loves me?  It is in these moments that all of the heartache that can come from dealing with the diagnosis and care of a child with cancer is a little more bearable.  Yes, the payoff of being a mother is huge.  And it is rewarding….even in the hardest times.

Jack and Sam Mother’s Day weekend.  On the way to Sam’s First Communion.  Look at all that hair!!!!

During the past eleven months, I have had the pleasure of talking with so many mothers of children battling cancer.  I swear, these are some of the toughest people around.  They are truly amazing.  Beth, who has a son who had the same type of brain tumor as Sam, (and is doing FABULOUS by the way and is finished with treatment) had the short piece below posted on her son’s blog and I think it says it all about some of these amazing mom’s I have met on this cancer journey.

She will sleep in a chair, on the floor, in the car or not at all if needed.

She will drive to the end of the earth and back, then turn around and do it again if she must.

She can live for days on pretzels, cold biscuits and Diet Coke.

No matter how tired, frustrated, sorrowed or emotionally drained, she will greet visitors with a hug and a smile.

She is not embarrassed to cry in public.

She will only transfer her anger and frustrations onto those who need no apologies.

She will grudgingly but knowingly release the daily care of other family members to relatives or loving friends.

She will clean vomitt, diarrhea, mucus, snot, puss and fallen hair with the calm of reading the daily newspaper.

She can dispense meds with the accuracy of a super computer.

She will look past rotting skin and twisted bodies to see only love in the eyes of her precious child.

She can hear the worst news possible, stand up and take the next most important step towards recovery or comfort.

She is the strongest person on the planet; she is the Mother of a sick child.

I was lucky enough to not only spend Mother’s Day with my two wonderful boys, but with my own mother and my sisters who are mothers as well.  What a relaxing day!  We even managed to squeeze in a manicure/pedicure.  Ahhh!

I hope you all had a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend with you family!

Erica