The mind is a powerful thing.

It’s ugly, isn’t it?  And it’s been living in Sam’s room for awhile and I didn’t even know it was there.  One day while getting ready for bed, Sam went and retrieved this little thing and said, “Mom, can I pretend this is cancer?”  I was surprised by this question and curious at the same time as to what his intentions were.  He picked up the “cancer” and threw it with all of his strength against his bedroom wall.  Then he stomped on it, repeatedly.  Big brother Jack entered the room and quickly helped Sam think of other ideas to do to the “cancer.”  They took it and wedged it between the doorframe, smashing it repeatedly.  They took it and threw it over the railing down into the foyer.  They gave it to Champ and let him go a few rounds with it.  And because they are boys and just can’t help themselves, the even pretended to “toot” on the cancer.  (This was by far their favorite!)  By the end of this little exercise we were all laughing and trying to come up with even more ideas to destroy the cancer.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this thing did have many similarities to Sam’s cancer.  It was ugly-just like cancer.  It was living in a place for awhile and we didn’t even know it was there until Sam began vomiting consistently for ten days. And the more we destroyed it, the happier we became.

Sam has continued to struggle with nausea and vomiting during his journey, and has developed a few fears associated with it.  Getting sick is a daily reality for him and as you can imagine, wears on him mentally.  He is afraid to eat sometimes, fearing it will trigger his vomiting.  And because he vomits so frequently, doctors have put him on nightly fluids here and there to battle dehydration, which requires his port to be accessed (He is not a fan of having a needle taped to his chest).  Our little exercise with “cancer” had done wonders to lift his mood, why not try it again with some of his fears?  So, we had him write down what was bothering him the most.

After he had written down his fears, it was time to destroy them.  First, he flushed one of them down the toilet.  It’s a boy thing.

Next, he destroyed one in the garbage disposal.

And then finally, we torched one at the kitchen sink.

We’ve even created a chart to record Sam’s successes!  He calls it his “Happy Talk Time Chart.”  One of the strategies that Dr. Thorne, one of the Riley oncology therapists, recommended was Self Talk.  Self Talk is the act of talking to yourself, encouraging yourself that everything is fine.  This technique can teach you how to control emotional and physical reactions by suggesting more effective ways of interpreting and thinking about your experiences.  She has also taught him deep breathing techniques as a form of relaxation when he begins to feel anxious about getting sick.  Instead of calling it Self Talk, Sam has renamed it “Happy Talk Time” because he says that when he talks to himself, encouraging himself not to get sick, he thinks about happy things.  Fine by me!

My teacher friends are cringing right now looking at my homemade chart-complete with hand drawn lines and lettering!

(I’m so sorry!  No Clip Art ladies!!!  Are you disappointed???  UGH!!!!!!)

Sam did such a GREAT job the past two weeks talking himself out of getting sick, that we had to celebrate!  We called up some of his buddies and they, along with their parents, met us at the local laser tag joint for a few games of family fun.  It was a great time had by all!